There Is Always Hope

A lot of you may remember this peice from a Young Writer's Group Picture Prompt, many months ago. I've always really loved this piece, so I decided I'd post it. Thanks!

"don't go, Sissy. don't go."
i watched as life began to flicker, as her breath saw its last glimpses of the earth. her pale skin, her bergundy hair, her pointed nose...
shattered.
sick.
missing.
lost.
wher are you going, sissy? why aren't you taking me with you?
but she only looked at me, her black eyes vacant and unseeing, her thin fingers lingering over her chest as long, maroon curls fell over her eyes, sweat forcing them to stick to her skin.
she'd die that way.
sick.
sick and unclean.
uncleansed...
i kneel beside her. i'm confused and i don't understand. where was Retta going? where was my big sister, my only companion, the only soul i trusted...where was she going?
i reach over and clutch her big hand in my small one, hanging on for dear life.
i won't let go, sissy.
won't let go.
won't let go.
But i must, sometime. that's what the doctors said, when daddy died four years ago, when i was only two.
"you'll see him again someday, little one." they always whispered, with sad, gloomy eyes, to Retta as she held me, protected me...loved me when no one else did.
but i didn't want to wait that long. want to see her now. want to see her now...
"Sissy?"
she is wrapped in a torn woolen blanket, hidden against the wall of an abandoned, graffitied building.
her eyes flutter, lost and confused as the sea of saneness drowns her in its grasp of insanity.
"don't go sissy. don't leave me here, i'm scared!"
i wanted her to respond, i wanted her to hug me close, and tell me all would be okay.
but all was ending.
all was not okay.
because she was all i ever had.
hot tears pave fresh streets down my grimy cheeks, slipping down the front of my muddy white dress.
and then
i squeeze my sisters hand
one more time
one last time
last time.
miss you, sissy.
not letting go.
love you sissy.
please don't go!
and she squeezes back, just slightly, just barely...a gossamer touch. a dream. a folly. i wish. a prayer ungranted.
and then she heals, for just a moment.
she leaves the filthy brown blanket.
she walks fnatastical streets with me, a yellow brick road.
we share the biggest lollipops.
we sing the sweetest song.
"i love you, little one." she sings as she twirls me in her arms.
she buys me a red baloon.
the shape of a heart.
on a silver string.
and i hang on to that heart.
becuase she hangs on, too.
and as it flies, we fly with it as well.
and we're flying together.
but we have to go back. we have to go back to the dirty ally, the muddy building. we have to go back to the muddy brown blanket, and the tears, and the sick.
and she has to go back. she has to go back, back to the end.
"but it was a wonderful walk we shared, little one."
and i stroke her hand, because her skin's still warm.
and i kiss her nose, before it gets cold.
and i close my eyes, because i'm not gonna watch.
i'm not gonna watch.
not gonna watch...
"i love you, little one!" she sings to me, like we're walking down a golden road.
like we're living again.
together us both.
not just me.
not just the little one.
the unimportant one.
but i love her too, so i open my eyes, just to watch hers close.
and i watch as she grasps our red baloon.
and i see her tug on the silver string.
and i hold my breath as she flies away.
because that red baloon was all i ever had.
that red baloon held me in its arms when it rained.
told me stories and sang me songs when i was scared.
she tickled my tummy when i was hungry, so the pain went away.
and there was one day, when we held little pieces of chalk in our hands.
and we printed pretty words on the walls.
There is always hope.
and there were the times when the air began to leave my baloon.
and the color started to fade.
and the edges grew thinner, and weaker, and sicker...
and then, today
it flew away.
and no matter how hard i held on, that red baloon kept going. and it reaches heights i wasn't tall enough to reach. and it told me, it told me "honey, you have to let go now. you have to let go."
and so i said goodbye, to my red heart baloon.
and i began to fall back to here and now.
and as i passed the wall we'd written on, i heard my big sissy's voice in my ear.
There's always hope, she said.
there's always hope...