Sit Down Beside Me

Wrote this a while back, as a YWG picture prompt. It really means a lot to me...I think if you read into it, you'll see yourself here, too.

Sit Down Beside Me

Here we go.
let's sing, while i tell you about a time when all was right.
a face in the mirror, looking back, knowing all...
just a reflection.

the face, outside of her
unknowing, and lost.
thought she knew it all, thought all was calm.
she was wrong, all was waiting.

all, is what we call everything.

everything we have.
everything we know.
everything we are

and i'm nothing, nothing but an empty face, in an empty soul....
standing beside an empty chair.

before i lost my all, i would speak to that face in the mirror.
i would sing to her, raise my voice. let it ring.
and she always sang back.

high cheekbones.
gone.
sparkling eyes her daddy praised.
gone.
pink lips that boy across the street once carressed.
missing.

and so i can no longer sing, to the face in the mirror.
i can no longer hear the sound.
i can no longer watch as she studies me...
wish this would change...wish this was different...

pieces that are left of my all, they're not beautiful enough to survive without you.
not beautiful enough....
not giving their All.
because they've lost it all.

and so i wait beside this empty chair, in the middle of the road where i left you behind.
and i sing a new kind of song, a wordless song, that is louder than you will ever comprehend.
and between the ringing verses, i pray to a forgotten savior, that you'll hear me.
i miss my all.
miss everything i am...
was.

when i threw it all away, just like everyone else.

beneath this generation, there sits a big, gray box.
rummage around, see what you like.
it's got everything we got rid of. what we say we detest.
i want that back, please. that belongs to me.

and so i dig around, and i pry through the missing pieces of everything.
but i can't find a single thing, that ever belonged to me.
just me.
not her.
not them.
because all i ever had, i threw away.

like an old pair of socks.

like a rotting apple.

like the face they said was not beautiful enough.

and so,
here we go.
let's sing.
and i'll breathe into you the story of one faceless girl among millions, who threw herself away.
the others whispered her name in scorn, not seeing anything but invisible perfection.
invisible disgrace.
because this faceless girl was once very beautiful, and very full.
but her hungry heart once told a lie, to the being to whom it mattered most,
the face in the mirror.

and now, she stands alone, in the middle of the road where she threw it all away.
she grasps the back of a rusting chair in her haggard fingers.
and she tries, now, with her all
with her everything she's got left...
to tell the truth, to the face she lied to.
in hopes that someday, it'll come back.
come back to this chair,
and
sit down beside me, please.
I miss my all.
miss everything i was.

come sit down beside me.
i'll sing again.
i'll show them, that i'm perfect, just the way i was.
i won't need this big gray box.
but i'll need your help climbing out of it.
it's a big box, understand.

and together, me and my everything can sit down in this chair.
sit beside me.
and we'll sing a new kind of song.
one that will carry us out of this.
to a new path, not the middle of the road.
a path where we will find, and not loose.
and i'll never let go of this.
not ever again.
i'd miss my all.
everything i am.
gonna sing now.
sing along, my heart, if you hear me.

so,
here we go...